Getting in Sync with your Spouse takes time, Don’t Give Up


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Brandon told me that he was having a stressful time at work so I treated him to dinner and a movie. As the night went on, he told me that spending time with me made him feel relieved, relaxed and calm during tough situations. Hearing him say that means so much to me. Things were quite different earlier in our relationship. Continue reading “Getting in Sync with your Spouse takes time, Don’t Give Up”

Positive Perspective and Preparation


Good morning guys,

I had to take a short hiatus from posting wardrobe capsule entries because of all of the work that goes into moving. We are almost done getting everything organized and put away. It will probably take a few more days to get situated so sorry for the delay in advance, lol. Ok, now on to today’s subject. We ran into some unexpected problems during our move, but thanks to preparation and positivity, we were able to get through it without the day being ruined. I wanted to share the experience with you guys while counting our blessings (labeled as B#) and optimistic moments (listed as O#).

Yesterday our car had to be towed to the mechanic after suddenly shutting down on us the night before. We’d already spent almost $800 on getting some repairs recently so, needless to say, this was not the best news ever. Thankfully, because we’ve been paying extra on our bills lately, we were able to use those funds, plus the cash we put away monthly for car maintenance/replacement to cover the repairs the first go round (B1). The tow guy’s customer service skills over the phone sucked, but our mechanic covered the fee so Brandon ignored his attitude and kept going (B2, O1). We scheduled movers to come by and transport all of our heavy containers and bedroom furniture into our new place but without our car, we weren’t going to be able to get the rest of our things out. This kind of got us down but Brandon and I were so excited about moving that we were able to stay positive (O2). Before the movers came, we placed everything we could into the living room and tucked Justice into the nearest empty bedroom with the door closed so he wouldn’t be stressed or confused by the sight of strangers taking things from our apartment. last year, he was so alarmed that he began barking and howling as to say ‘what’s going on here?!’.

When the movers arrived, they’d mistakenly listed both our new and old apartments as ground level dwellings, only to realize they’d have to take several heavy items down the stairs. One of the movers seemed a bit irritable but the other two were pleasant so we fed off of their energy (O3). My husband and I grabbed what we could and carried our belongings to the moving truck alongside the movers. It was hot, as usual for Texas, and we probably went up and down the stairs 20 times by the end.  Once we were finished, we decided to give them a big tip from our ‘moving fund’ as our way of saying thanks (B3). This left us with $600 or so left in moving funds (B4). We wanted to use the cash to buy furniture for our home office but that idea went out the window when the mechanic called. I’m kinda paranoid when it comes to mechanics, because it seems like no matter where we’ve gone over the years, a new problem is discovered after taking our car in for repairs and this was no exception. As Brandon chatted with him on the phone, I could tell what he was hearing wasn’t good. We needed $700. . .

We didn’t have that much money available in the bank to cover the fee; we’d already spent our monthly car savings on the first round of repairs. If we were going to move the rest of our things and entertain family this weekend, we needed our car fixed asap! At this point, I wanted to freak out, fuss and maybe threaten the car guy in case he was trying to get over on us for good measure but I could hear something (maybe the holy spirit) tell me to stay calm. Then we realized that we could use the remaining ‘moving fund’ cash along with a little from savings to take care of the car (B5). Yes, this would mean not being able to furnish our place as soon as we’d hoped but we wouldn’t have to worry about being short on any bills this month (B6, O4)! Today, I took the bus to work and Brandon carpooled with a co-worker, so neither of us had to take time off (B7) and by the time we get home, our car will be waiting for us in the parking lot (B8).

Prepare financially for days like this. It will save you from stress and conflict later.
For the last four months, we’ve applied the principles from Financial Peace University by saving as much as we can to move into a new apartment. To make sure we didn’t spend the money on something else, we took it out of the bank and placed the cash into an envelope. When the car broke down, we were able to use some of this money to cover repairs instead of having to stress over where the money would come from and potentially stir up trouble for other financial obligations. At the end of the day, we only needed to round up $40 from the bank.

Don’t let a bunch of minor inconveniences ruin your day.
This is something I’m learning to do as my life goes on. I used to complain and get upset quickly when things started to go awry. I’m not 100% cured of this habit but I’m getting better. Several things didn’t go as we’d hoped they would. Between car troubles, irritable service workers, the heat outside and suddenly having to spend $700, we easily could have gotten upset and deemed yesterday as a bad day. These are the kinds of things that can cause problems in a marriage! At the end of the day, we were able to move into our new apartment. Instead of stressing (and possibly fussing) over money, we spent quality time together putting things away and even had time for some romance before passing out for the night.

When less than positive things happen, you don’t have to fall into an emotional funk. Focus on what’s going right with your day and make the most of every moment. Life is too short to spend it in a bad mood. Be positive, stay happy as much as you can and drop any emotional baggage that can slow you down.

xoxo, Elle

Self Evaluation: Am I who I think I am?


For the past few weeks, Brandon and I have been meditating on the word of God and really trying to hear from him. We have also been praying for certain things to fall into place and working on trusting God to take care of any problems we are facing. In the midst of this, I believe that HE has started to reveal things to us that we may not have realized or paid attention to in the past. And now that HE has, I think it’s time that I did a critical self evaluation. Everyone has this idea of what kind of person they are but does that idea truly reflect their true identities? I admit that person I thought up in my head is not the true me.

The ‘head me‘ is a hard worker who keeps her word and is optimistic. She has confidence. She loves God and loves to help people. She is original, creative and doesn’t let negativity get in her way. She is open minded about people and prides herself in being kind to everyone and forgiving. But the ‘true me’ just about forgets the needs of others if there is a hardship going on in her life. She loves God but is slacking in the area of serving HIM. She has plenty of goals but hardly works on the majority of them. She worries. She is strongly opinionated and defensive. She can be kinda bossy too.

When I re-read the two descriptions above, its clear that both of those identities are in my heart. Some might say Im being hard on myself but I think I am being honest with myself. Without honesty, one cannot expect to make true progress or change. You must first know the truth before you can be set free. Now that God has shown me who I am, what am I going to do about it? The obvious answer would be to change.

But change is not something most people do well. We’d rather assume our way of thinking/doing things is the best way and that other people need to change. We’d rather see our selfish priorities as more important than what anybody else including God needs us to do. We don’t want to change because that would mean giving up the worthless hobbies that we hold dear. We’d have to put pride aside and do what needs to be done, even when we don’t want/feel/care to do it. Because we would be forced to see the truth behind our ‘ideal selves’ and work on our character flaws. Heck, we’d have to agree with the notion that we have flaws! With all that in mind, who would ever want to change?

I do, because, In the end, not changing will keep me from progress. I don’t want to stop others from getting the blessings that God put in me to give. I don’t want pointless grudges to mess up my relationships. Lord knows I can’t risk becoming more egotistical than I am already. I refuse to relinquish the greatness God has for me because of laziness, pride, fear or greed. From this day forward, I am changing because my life, and the lives of others, depends on it. I dare you to do the same.

xoxo
The Artistic Chic