Brandon told me that he was having a stressful time at work so I treated him to dinner and a movie. As the night went on, he told me that spending time with me made him feel relieved, relaxed and calm during tough situations. Hearing him say that means so much to me. Things were quite different earlier in our relationship.
In the past, when I wanted to spend time with him it seemed to annoy him. He was accustomed to spending a lot of time on his own and not really having to share his time or space. His family is pretty involved in the community and because of this, they usually spend the majority of their day apart. Once he married me, I guess he figured that it would be similar except things didn’t quite turn out that way. Though I tried really hard, I was unemployed for the first six months of our marriage. When I finally found a job, it was as a part-time barista. This was an extremely difficult time for us.
Brandon had a great job but my little paycheck meant having to go without everyday luxuries like the internet and furniture. Budgeting was always stressful and did nothing for us in the romance department. Brandon had grown up in the city, so he would go and play tennis or golf to relax but I didn’t have many friends to turn to; I was lonely. Of course we had some good times but for the most part, it was a struggle. After our first year, we moved in with his parents in order to stack up some savings for a better living situation. This new situation had its challenges but during that time, we started dreaming together for the first time.
We wanted to live in a place where we both could thrive professionally. We wanted a fresh start in a place where we didn’t know anyone so we could become the people we wanted to be without social pressure. After six months, we moved to Texas and started living in a new way. Brandon had more time for me and I started taking a greater interest in movies and other things that he enjoys. With only God and each other to lean on, we strengthened our marriage and friendship. Budgeting is still a work in progress but we get it done and then have some fun together. I was blessed with a salary job (2 years in February), have started my own company and we don’t have to flinch when it comes to the occasional spontaneous purchase.
Brandon and I just celebrated four years of marriage last month. I can’t believe its been that long already but here we are making our way through this life together. Sticking with our little tradition, we put on our wedding attire and hit the road. Brandon and I visited the Dallas World Aquarium first. It was so cool seeing the animals and fish up close. Brandon got creeped out while looking at a huge spider and a bird pooped on me, lol. Luckily it only hit the train of my gown and I just clipped off that part with some scissors. After our visit, we took a horse and carriage ride around the area before doing a little shopping at the mall. It was so much fun!
We didn’t start out like this, it took years of trials, errors and some tears before we finally got on the same page. Getting in sync with your spouse takes time, so don’t give up! Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you aren’t going to have times when you can hardly stand to be around each other in difficult times.
Have courage and don’t give up on your marriage.
You can do this, trust God to show you how.