Life · Uncategorized

Self Evaluation: Am I who I think I am?

For the past few weeks, Brandon and I have been meditating on the word of God and really trying to hear from him. We have also been praying for certain things to fall into place and working on trusting God to take care of any problems we are facing. In the midst of this, I believe that HE has started to reveal things to us that we may not have realized or paid attention to in the past. And now that HE has, I think it’s time that I did a critical self evaluation. Everyone has this idea of what kind of person they are but does that idea truly reflect their true identities? I admit that person I thought up in my head is not the true me.

The ‘head me‘ is a hard worker who keeps her word and is optimistic. She has confidence. She loves God and loves to help people. She is original, creative and doesn’t let negativity get in her way. She is open minded about people and prides herself in being kind to everyone and forgiving. But the ‘true me’ just about forgets the needs of others if there is a hardship going on in her life. She loves God but is slacking in the area of serving HIM. She has plenty of goals but hardly works on the majority of them. She worries. She is strongly opinionated and defensive. She can be kinda bossy too.

When I re-read the two descriptions above, its clear that both of those identities are in my heart. Some might say Im being hard on myself but I think I am being honest with myself. Without honesty, one cannot expect to make true progress or change. You must first know the truth before you can be set free. Now that God has shown me who I am, what am I going to do about it? The obvious answer would be to change.

But change is not something most people do well. We’d rather assume our way of thinking/doing things is the best way and that other people need to change. We’d rather see our selfish priorities as more important than what anybody else including God needs us to do. We don’t want to change because that would mean giving up the worthless hobbies that we hold dear. We’d have to put pride aside and do what needs to be done, even when we don’t want/feel/care to do it. Because we would be forced to see the truth behind our ‘ideal selves’ and work on our character flaws. Heck, we’d have to agree with the notion that we have flaws! With all that in mind, who would ever want to change?

I do, because, In the end, not changing will keep me from progress. I don’t want to stop others from getting the blessings that God put in me to give. I don’t want pointless grudges to mess up my relationships. Lord knows I can’t risk becoming more egotistical than I am already. I refuse to relinquish the greatness God has for me because of laziness, pride, fear or greed. From this day forward, I am changing because my life, and the lives of others, depends on it. I dare you to do the same.

xoxo
The Artistic Chic

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